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It was a gorgeous night under the twinkle lights in the courtyard of the Ina Levine JCC Campus where dozen plus parents gathered BJE’s new parents-of-teens program Jewish Matters.

Jewish Matters; Keeping the Conversations Alive, was created to bring parents together to discuss issues we face in raising teens today, while hopefully providing inspiration and tools to strengthen relationships with their children.

The program was born out of a need we were noticing here in the community. We saw how your teens were struggling post-pandemic. We saw their mental health deteriorating. We knew antisemitism had reached a new low and our students were struggling with how to respond. After meeting with Youth Directors here in our community and around the nation, sharing about our difficulties of how to engage the youth and effectively support them, it dawned on me: if we are struggling, the parents must really be too. So I reached out to parents from Hebrew High as well as those outside our network, to see what we could do.

The first official open event was held this week, and it featured the leadership of Hillel at ASU, their Executive Director Debbie Yunker Kail and Senior Jewish Educator Rabbi Suzy Stone. The theme of the evening was Cultivating Jewish Pride, Preparing Jewishly Confident Teens for Independence. The evening’s topic allowed for parents to begin thinking about how to mentally prepare themselves and their teens for life after high school, with an emphasis on how it begins today.

The conversation was lively, real and engaging, exactly what I was hoping for. The roundtable discussion concept allows for parents to share their experiences, ask questions of the professionals and have tangible take-aways. One parent mentioned the importance of becoming a mentor to their children and supporting them instead of guiding them. However, this approach can sometimes evoke a sense of loss and fear, which can be challenging to navigate. Another parent pointed out that these feelings are a natural part of a biological transition time that all parents and children experience.

It is crucial to be mindful of our children’s transitions and check ourselves for our transitions as well. Rabbi Stone shared that college is a time to “fail forward,” and that these are the years were students should be encouraged to try just about everything and see what sticks. “They should get involved in everything they can so that they can really find themselves,” Rabbi Stone said. It may just be that getting involved in things outside the Jewish bubble will help many students recognize the value of their own Jewish identity.

“I really needed tonight,” shared one parent. “I’ve been feeling afraid for the future but now I feel like I have tools and a foundation to let them find their independence. I’ll be back for the next session for sure!”

Jewish Matters will meet again Tuesday September 5. Learn more: Jewish Matters — Bureau of Jewish Education (bjephoenix.org)

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