When planning a wedding we are all aglow with love and excitement—as it should be. We have to consider the date, venue, rabbi, caterer, invitations, musicians, seating arrangements, bridesmaids, best man, ushers, the dress/suit, money, the honeymoon arrangements, and more. It’s a challenge but, hopefully, well worth it. I have often said, “Staging a wedding is sometimes a poor way to begin a marriage.”
Despite all of the above planning there remains a most important consideration that too often, and most unfortunately, is overlooked: When does the new couple learn to navigate the road ahead to help sustain a successful marriage and a long and loving relationship?
While many weddings today take months to plan and cost tens of thousands of dollars, often not a minute or a dime is spent to ensure the union will successfully endure. The divorce rate for first marriages in the US continues to hover around 50% (Covid made it even worse); most of these divorces occur within the first five years and frequently include children. Therefore, unless couples do some research and learn to effectively communicate, argue constructively, solve problems cooperatively, co-manage money, and strive to care as much about their loved one as they do about themselves (moving from “me to we”), about half of those extravagant weddings will have gone to waste.
Jewish Marriage University (the sister of Jewish Baby University) was developed by Linda Feldman, Director of Family Education for the Bureau of Jewish Education in our community and continues to be offered yearly. It includes presentations from a psychologist/marriage specialist, a financial analyst, rabbis, Jewish educators and other professionals. Important topics are raised that most newlyweds face and tools are offered to help resolve those issues that ruin too many unions. The program welcomes Jewish couples, interfaith couples, engaged, recently married, or any longer married couples who would like to enhance their marriage. There’s also an extra session for mixed faith couples. Sound too good to be true? Find out. Enroll now for the Fall 2023 program or give this program as a special “wedding” gift” to a couple about whom you care. It’s a gift that will last a lifetime.
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