On Thursday, 5 days into the war, I received an email from a couple of Hebrew High parents concerned for their teens returning to school from fall break.
Would they know what to say to their peers? Would people confront them about the issue? How should they handle social media, both with its traumatic images and pervasive antisemitic rhetoric?
A few minutes later I received a text from a student sharing her dismay and broken heartedness over a best friend who had sided with Hamas. What was she to do?
Immediately I reached out to one of my main community collaborators Andrea Cohen of the CJP’s Youth Philanthropy and Community Engagement, who is a partner in our CommuniTeen initiative, which brings Jewish teens together from across all affiliations and networks. We needed to work quickly as time was of the essence.
For the next 48 hours we buried ourselves in resources, organizing, and outreach (without the use of social media to keep safe). We connected with all our CommuniTeen affiliates to secure their partnership and support. How could we create the most impact in the shortest period of time? What take-aways would be available for both our teens and their parents?
Our Gathering for Resilience & Resources was held Sunday 10/15 at 4pm. The social hall was flooded with people. With over 80 people in the room and nearly 40 online, the community was eager to gather, connect, cry and feel empowered. As they entered, people were invited to light a candle, and write on our community wall what they were lighting for.
As people found their seats, I slowly began singing Od Yavo Shalom Aleinu, inviting everyone’s voices to rise together in hope and prayer that peace would come upon us all. Welcoming everyone, moved by the response of our community, I reminded us all that in these times of darkness and hate, we can call upon our ancestors who have faced these same terrifying times. I instructed our teens and their parents that even though we want to stay up to date on all the matters (and we should), it should not be in place of our mental health, capacity or sanity. Our rabbis teach us that in order to change the world, we MUST change ourselves, take care of our spirits and ensure we are well to care for others. “Your job,” I shared with all in the room, “is to focus on your inner wellbeing. Then, and only then, reach out to check on your friends and peers to be a support for them.” We cannot be there for others if we do not take care of ourselves. We put our hands on our hearts and spoke out loud how we can ensure good selfcare during these overwhelming times.
Then we heard from 2 speakers: Ohad Lowenstein, a community member who grew up outside of Gaza, who spoke about living life in a war zone – and reminded our teens their responsibility to speak up and stand up against antisemitism. Then, Max Drachler, a high school student who was just sent home from Alexander Muss’s Highschool in Israel. His emotional words broke through the hearts of everyone in the room. We too yearn for the days of October 6 Max….a day when peace prevailed.
Finally, but with limited time, Andrea Cohen eloquently took the front to share the crucial information for had tirelessly organized.
“Have you ever had a conversation with a bully?” she asked. Heads nodded. “Does it go anywhere? Do they change?” she further prompted. Heads shook. We knew where she was going. “The issues we see on social media are not ours to fight. We don’t need to answer for the entire Jewish people. Chances are, anyone who is provoking you isn’t looking to have their perspective changed. If you feel safe, invite them for a person-to-person conversation. If not, don’t respond.” The room exhaled.
There isn’t a need to reply. There isn’t a need to have all the answers. Just don’t engage.
“But if they approach you, especially with anti-Israel/antisemitic speech, you can always ask them: What is your intention with this conversation?” This may be the most crucial element of all our take aways.
Andrea presented several resources for our families for how to have these conversations, better understanding the complexities of the current war and history and even how to navigate social media.
CHECK OUT OUR ISRAEL RESOURCES PAGE HERE
To conclude our gathering, the social hall divider walls opened, and we gathered around the Israel Scouts to strengthen our presence as ONE Jewish community. “Am Yisrael Chai!” shouted Rabbi Allouche, who spoke on the value of our peoplehood. Scout’s coordinator Coral expressed heartfelt words in both Hebrew and Israel, that we are with our brothers and sisters in spirit, and that we are better together. Scout’s director Oren Tabib charged the community to walk with our heads high and wear our Jewish identity proudly. I then charged the community to be like Nachshon, walking in faith despite our fears. Finally, our voices came together to sing Hatikvah, sharing a moment of hope despite the uncertainty.
This is an awful and difficult time, but being involved can make a difference.
Join Hebrew High to ensure regular Jewish learning and engagement for your teen, as the best way to dispel antisemitism is Jewish education! Explore B’nai Tzedek Youth Philanthropy to learn how to give back. Get active in the Jewish youth groups around the valley. Be a madrich/leader in synagogue religious schools. Join Israeli Scouts to be connected to Israel.
Get involved and be proud to be Jewish!
Next Event: Monday 10/23 Ben Freeman for Parents & Teens; fighting Jewish Hate with Jewish Pride
Special Thanks to our support organizations for our Resilience & Resources Gathering: ADL, Or Tzion, Reform Teen Coalition (Temple Chai, Solel, Kol Ami, Congregation Beth Israel), Pardes, Kehila Israel, Shevet Shemesh, Ina Levine, BJE, Hebrew High, B’nai Tzedek, USY and BBYO
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