This is a particularly painful and scary time for Jewish families around the world given the state of war happening overseas. We are overwhelmed by anxiety, sadness, and distraction. Many of us are struggling to stay present and calm with our families as we try to figure out how to help our loved ones in Israel.
In these terrifying times, taking time to care of ourselves can feel like an indulgence.
However, it is not an indulgence—it is a necessity.
If we do not tend to our own needs, we will not be able to help others. We cannot participate in the crucial work of chesed (loving kindness) and tikkun olam (repairing the world) if we are exhausted and depleted.
Here’s how to do it:
Stop: Whether you’re scrolling through social media, crying over the news, snapping at your kids, or feeling overwhelmed and confused, just stop. Each time you stop, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to start again, hopefully in a calmer, more present, and more intentional way.
Notice: The next step is to ground yourself by noticing what you’re feeling and sensing within and around you. What do you see, hear, or smell? What do you feel in your body? What are you thinking? Try not to get wrapped up in whatever you’re feeling or thinking and instead try not to judge yourself for whatever you find. There is no right or wrong—good or bad. This is just about becoming aware.
Acknowledge: Like so many of us, you may be bouncing between anxiety, anger, fear, and confusion. Then, you’re trying to distract yourself from all of it. But if you can take a moment to stop, breathe, and acknowledge that this is a truly terrifying time—and none of us are at our best—you’ll free up your thoughts and energy to move forward in thoughtful, intentional ways.
Get Curious: Once you’ve grounded yourself and acknowledged the reality of the moment (no matter how rough it may be), try to get curious. Asking yourself a few simple questions can help you clarify what you need and how to best move forward. What are you feeling? What are you thinking? What do you need right now? What help or support do you need? If all that feels too overwhelming, return to your noticing: What can you see? What can you hear? You can figure out what to do next as you get grounded and calm.
Kindness: If you can only practice one step in your mindful snack, this is the one. Kindness, or chesed, is a core value and practice in Judaism, and it is what we all need more than ever. This a deeply painful time for Jews worldwide, and there is no easy end in sight or clear solution. Many of us feel powerless and fearful and are not being our best selves. By treating ourselves and others with kindness, we make our lives just a bit easier and less stressful.
As you move through your day, working, worrying, and wondering how this will all resolve, remember to take a mindful S.N.A.C.K. whenever possible. Instead of reaching for your phone, snapping at your spouse, or letting your thoughts get the best of you, try to Stop, Notice, Accept, get Curious, and treat yourself with Kindness in response to whatever you find. Caring for ourselves in these small ways will allow us to care for others as we all work together to get through this unimaginable crisis.
Author Bio:
Carla Naumburg, PhD, LICSW, is a clinical social worker, writer, and PJ Our Way Content Officer. She is the author of four parenting books, including the bestselling How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids (Workman, 2019).
This post has been contributed by a third party. The opinions, facts and any media content are presented solely by the author, and JewishPhoenix assumes no responsibility for them. MORE
